David Shoshani
The belief always precedes the reality. If one continuously keep saying to oneself and to the others that TrueLove is fake, and that one will only consider to believe in it once one sees it manifested in one’s own life or at least in a friend’s life, then such a thing will never happen and TrueLove will not exist in one’s immediate reality.
Do you really think that those who created TrueLove wander in the streets and invite everybody to approach them, feel their TrueLove, touch it and explore it? TrueLove is not a cheap merchandise to be shown in a flea market. TrueLove is the most intimate creation in one’s life and those who have created that surely guard and cherish their TrueLove as if it was a precious diamond. You as well, once you create your private TrueLove, will want to treasure it.
Therefore, as long as you will wait to see TrueLove manifested for others before you will be willing to believe in its feasibility in your own lives- you will wait forever; but, as soon as you believe in it you will instantly discover that TrueLove is around you all the time. You may be the only one who will be able to spot on the street couples who share TrueLove because your sheer belief allowed TrueLove to penetrate your reality. Then you will as well be able to distinguish TrueLove from dualistic love-affair.
We all have the daily thoughts that comprise the never-stopping mind chatter that runs inside our heads throughout our waking hours. Part of that chatter is our world-views (beliefs) about life including love and relationships. People that seemingly do not have time to think about their relationships – like business men, politicians etc – spend notwithstanding great deal of their thoughts about their intimate life. They do think about the morning kiss they received from their spouse; they do think about the argument they had with them over the phone; they do think about their plans for the weekend. Those patterns of thinking are appropriate because believing in TrueLove means also to monitor and to recognize our thoughts and to align them according to the notions of TrueLove.
Take for example the cross-cultural tradition of stag parties: Before people get married, in the eve of their wedding ceremonies, the bride and groom to be, gather their friends together and conduct separate parties. Pay attention, what are the obvious and hidden purposes of those parties? What is said beforehand and during those parties? Are you just having fun or do those parties symbolize in a semi-humorous fashion, the transition of the man from free life to the imprisonment of marriage?! For the woman it may symbolize a transition from a free spirit who can celebrate with her friends to becoming the man’s property. Ask yourself - Do you agree with those concepts? Do you agree that being married is being chained for life? Do you agree that marriage has become an old institution that long ago collapsed? If you do, then you hold impeding and blocking beliefs about love in general and TrueLove in particular.
Why? Because when a man and a woman find that spark of love and decide to combine their essences and destinies to one life, many sacred levels of energies are coming to their aid and to their support. With that, much freedom arrives and much independence since the soul knows that the marriage will provide a safe and comfortable platform for each individual to search for their divinity. Seeing marriage as a prison is a twisted perception of relationship and must be changed.
Many times our beliefs about love are so well rooted that we express them automatically without paying prior attention to their true meaning; Instead of being conscious, we simply accept the beliefs we have as fixed characters of the reality over which we have no control. Take the next scenario for example: you meet a high-school friend of yours whom you have not seen for years. She tells you that she recently got married and that now she is extremely happy because she had finally found her TrueLove. “It was worth waiting for him”, she says. You listen to her and put a polite smile on your face. You ask about the guy and it turned out that you know him from your work environment. “Oh, what a poor girl”, you think to yourself, “He is such an aggressive and obnoxious guy. That marriage will not last more than a year”.
STOP right there! Pay attention to the way you think. I am not talking about what you thought about your “friend” ‘s husband. I am talking about the inner messages you were sending to yourself. I am talking about the disbelief you have about the existence of TrueLove. Why could you not really believe her when she said she has found her TrueLove?! This is the important issue that you must address.
Let’s examine that encounter from a deeper perspective. First it should be clearly understood that like ANY event in your life that encounter too was not coincidental. The kingdom of love had heard about you and about your quest for the keys that would open the gate to TrueLove and in order to help you, the kingdom had sent you its representative. Her task was to give you a tangible and concrete example that TrueLove does exist so you would be further encouraged on your journey. Her second task was to check how strong your belief is.
And what did you do? You closed your heart and got jealous; As if your friend’s husband was the last man on earth and by marrying him your friend stole your last chance to TrueLove. Rather than acknowledging the message from the Kingdom and thanking it for its assistance you belittled its messenger. You mocked her (in your heart) and showed a disbelief in TrueLove. Notice, how an automatic behavior shows so well your deep and hidden beliefs about life.
You may say now: “but you promised that the journey towards TrueLove would be effortless and easy, and to us it seems impossible to constantly monitor and control our thoughts which naturally flow out from our minds”. And indeed, that first step that is, to pay attention to your thoughts, may not be as easy as you expected but it is possible. The effortless journey that we mentioned referred to physical attempts. You are never required to actively look for a spouse, to register at a dating website, to go out every night to clubs and parties and not even to fight over that girl that had dumped you. TrueLove will indeed come to you effortlessly through a natural path, but only after you will make yourself available to accept it. And the first step to do that is by working with your beliefs. Those will build the solid ground on which your house of TrueLove will be assembled, one step at a time.
Before closing let me give you two short leads what to do as soon as you recognized an inappropriate belief – first, do not blame yourself, refrain from scolding yourself for past behavior. No need to search for that friend and apologize to her for your insulting thoughts. Leave it behind you, forget her and carry on. No one really needs your apologies. Then, sit quietly with yourself and begin the correction. Gently yet with determination declare anew your choice of TrueLove and your certain knowing of its existence. This is the effortless element. The moment of declaration that you make to yourself is the powerful moment by which the past is instantly being transformed. Later on, once the kingdom of love sends to you more of its representatives make sure that this time you welcome them with the appropriate set of beliefs.
In our next articles we will describe the tools and explain in length how to examine your beliefs and change them when necessary.
