Increasingly every day, I'm hearing about the use of the lie detector by the police. For many years I’d thought that the polygraph machine was only used with the consent of the accused party but I’m beginning to realise I was wrong and that now it’s a fact that detective work at the scene of a crime has virtually stopped in the country, not that there was too much of it before, now that the lie detector is being used.
Since the police, with the latest passage of a hurriedly passed Lok Sabha bill, have been given draconian powers, I decided in my very vivid imagination to visit a police station close by.
“How?" I asked a police inspector, "Does the lie detector work?"
"You want to see?" asked the inspector, “It’s very simple.”
"I don't want to go to Bangalore to see the polygraph machine, which I heard lies there!" I said.
"You don't have to go anywhere. We have one in every police station!" said the inspector with a smile on his face.,
"But that's a very expensive machine!" I said, “I’d love to see it!”
"You want to see how it works?" asked the inspector, glad to show off his machine to an innocent me.
"Yes" I said with awe in my voice, " Yes, I'd like to see it!"
"I'm afraid, you won't be able to see it but you'll be able to hear its results!"
"Lead the way!" I said bravely, as he led me into his police station, and then beckoned me to stand outside a locked room. I heard voices inside, "Why did you commit the murder?"
"Sir! I did not commit the murder! No sir! No sir! Please don't sir!"
"Dishum! Dishum!
(Scream)
"Dishum! Dishum!"
"(Scream)
"Now tell me, did you commit the murder?"
"Sir please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, sir, nooooooo…"
"Did you commit the murder? Dishoom! Dishum!"
"(Scream)
"Dishum! Dishum!"
"(Scream!)"
"Strange lie detector!" I whispered.
"Very, very effective!" said the police inspector, "never lets us down!"
"Did you commit the murder?"
"Yeeeeeeees! Yeeeeeees! Please don't hit me! Yeeeeeees!"
"Will you sign the confession?"
"Please don't hurt me! I will sign anything! I will sign anything! Ahhhhhh!"
I walked behind the police inspector as he walked away from the room.
"Like I said our lie detector is very effective, though there's one problem!" said the inspector scratching his head.
"What?" I asked.
"It is so effective that we get ten confessions for every one murder..!"
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
