Photo Courtesy: Image by New Leaf Mental Health Counseling from Pixabay | For representational purpose only
“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”- Brene Brown
Tushi Imlong
Dimapur | November 9
The reality of what constitutes a day’s work for a children’s counsellor challenges the naïve, if not utopian assumption that all parents, guardians and care-givers universally endeavour to protect and shield children from harm at all times. Her job brings her face-to-face with the gravity of trauma inflicted on children, the sensitivity of confidential sessions, and the overwhelming number of children and families needing counselling and care.
“Day-by-day, with increasing awareness, my case-load is increasing. Besides counselling children and parents and conducting follow-up sessions during working hours, there are also some who would prefer to call in the evenings for tele-counselling sessions,” says the counsellor.
Describing the nature of her cases she says, “I have been a counsellor for children and their families for more than six years, and the cases I have seen are mostly victims of sexual abuse and domestic violence, a majority of whom are young girls. They come from a range of diverse backgrounds. Contrary to popular belief, it is not only children from poor, rural, uneducated or uninformed families who face these violations, but also children from affluent, highly educated and influential families who have been traumatized in abusive and unsafe home environments.”
Many of these issues boil down to the families. To illustrate this point, she refers to situations when parents expect children to take sides during their fights, referring to each other in derogatory terms such as the “shaarabi” father or the “saitaanama,” and unspeakable acts of violence and abuse are carried out in front of or towards their own children.
These issues are compounded when victims are children with disabilities who cannot care for themselves, often leading to family unit breaking down. Some cases involve high-profile families where extramarital relationships are openly flaunted in front of children, exposing them to inappropriate acts and situations. Violence against child household helpers is often hushed up, as these children have no voice and no one to turn to. In most cases, the perpetrators are people the children know and who hold positions of authority within the family.
Speaking from her years of experience counselling children, she says, “Interventions do not end with the child. No matter how intensively we engage with children during counselling sessions while they are in safe temporary custody, sooner or later they will have to go back to their homes.”
Stressing on the urgent need to take up both preventive as well as restorative measures, she feels that counselling is essential for families in order to build a strong support system. She says, “It is crucial for practitioners who counsel children to follow-up with families after these children have been restored to their families. In many cases, particularly when the children have been referred by the legal system, the fear of the law has proven to be an effective deterrent against recurrence, at least on the surface.”
However, interventions are woefully inadequate if only NGOs and agencies working in the field of child protection are expected to respond. She advocates for a comprehensive response necessitating a multi-pronged approach engaging families, schools, churches, neighbourhoods and communities.
The counselor believes that extended family members and neighbourhood or colony communities can play a vital role in reporting violation of children’s rights. Leaders of village councils and colonies must be sensitized and educated on legal issues around child protection. She says, “Communities need to come together to develop strategies and rules to address children’s protection. Meetings on this issue should be attended by all sections of the community for their inputs and endorsement. Strong decisions should be taken to prevent further violation of children’s rights, and also to delineate the course of action to be taken in case of future violations”
“Our churches can play a bigger role in child protection with their influence, resources and wide reach,” she suggests. “Although it is good to continue holding seminars and programs on child protection for regular members, it is also important to reach out to people who don’t come to church regularly. A person-to-person, home-to-home, colony-to-colony approach would be the most effective strategy. Nowadays many churches have appointed counsellors who can conduct home visits; but often the case-loads are too heavy for one or two to cover. The number of counsellors appointed should be proportionate to the size of the church. Pastors and church workers can help in identifying families needing support and visiting them to pray with them, thereby building rapport for further referrals to counsellors, if needed.”
On the issue of children from rural areas who come to towns and cities for education while working as domestic helpers, she believes the main reason is that schools in those areas are non-existent or semi-functional. Besides, their families also have too many mouths to feed and inadequate resources. While some families in their new destinations offer decent homes and opportunities, many of these children remain vulnerable to exploitation.
“If only the government could ensure that schools in the remote areas function properly, are easily accessible, and provide mid-day meals regularly, these children may not have to leave their homes in the first place,” she states.
“We say that children are going to be the future generation – but how are we preparing the ground for them to grow into healthy and productive citizens?” she asks. Despite all the challenges that exist, she still has hope and believes that change is gradually taking place around us. She leaves us with this personal conviction, “My work is sometimes exhausting, but I derive satisfaction from the belief that along with the challenges come the potential to touch lives – if I can impact even one life, that will be my reward.”
Name has been left anonymous either at the individuals’ request or to protect identity.
Disclaimer: This report is part of the ‘Media Fellowship Initiative on Child Protection Awareness and Ethical Public Discourse’ series, supported by DKA Austria and implemented by Prodigals’ Home. The content is intended for public legal literacy and preventive awareness.
