The best way to let out your anger is not by using your fists, nor by silence, though many, many posts tell you to suffer in silence, but the right way is to express your rebuttal in words!
That’s something we haven’t learnt as a people and also haven’t seen in our leaders.
Till we learn how to do that, we use other methods!
I read that a woman in Arkansas called her local police department. She asked about the penalty for fighting. The sergeant told her that she could be charged with assault and battery. The fine was $100.
“But why do you ask?” asked the police officer.
"Oh, I want to beat up my sister," she said, "and I wanted to see if I can afford it!"
Anger must certainly be expressed, but this woman discovered that there is a price for expressing it inappropriately. Which is why, in the Japanese town of Yamanakako, visitors will pay hefty sums simply for the chance to vent their anger in Yoshie Ogasawara's "Relief Room," the main attraction of her four-story fun house.
There, stressed-out business persons, jilted lovers and enraged spouses can smash a large porcelain vase, hurl ceramic ware into a soapstone peach tree from China and break a few ceramic clowns in an attempt to express their pent-up rage. The relief room owes its phenomenal success to our human need to express anger in some way or other.
That’s a lot of money you pay to get rid of anger, isn’t it?
So, coming to what I said at the beginning of this column, the most effective way of dealing with anger is to express it in words. "Talk it out" with the person with whom you are upset.
As William Blake wrote:
I was angry with my friend,
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe.
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
Anger must be "told" to be stilled. And if it is not possible to talk directly with the offending person, find a good listener.
Sometimes, just "getting it out" is enough.
Further, talk it out soon, since unacknowledged anger is a malignant tumor. "Don't let the sun set on your anger," but rather strive to finally let go of each day's resentment in order to keep a clean slate.
Talking is still the best way to work through life's issues. Either talk directly to the person who’s hurt you, using the right words, or if you can’t do that just yet, first talk it out with someone.
Whatever it is, use words, not fists or silence..!
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
