He slowly walks past the house and talks to people shyly. The others watch him and whisper something and he roughly knows what they are saying but moves on to his destination.
One by one they come and sit down. The latest politics in town, the latest killing, the latest scam, mobile and the in thing is all discussed. As I pass by, laughter rings out and there is something that tells me about this laughter. Sometimes one can’t help but wonder what tickles these people. Wait a minute! That laughter sounds familiar but today it is different! We’ll find out later. The host knows what these people are looking for and prepares them the night before. The ‘spirit’ tickles them and they become charged. How long each one stays there, I honestly don’t know. Behind all these red faces, they each have a story to tell. The man walks out and this time, he doesn’t walk slowly, he walks zig-zag and is not shy anymore. What follows next is another story for every home. Next day, the same ritual happens and it continues to take place day by day, month by month and year by year. New members come and they continue to join the band. Sadly the veterans finally stop coming and are soon forgotten for there is much to talk about. Who cares anyway? No tributes to the one who came and stayed the longest. Ah! A list would help the band but none would want to see their name appearing next knowing that they each hold their own queue number. Just “who next?” is a matter of time. What is it that attracts these people from all walks of life? Those who come are not mere ‘men’, they are brothers, fathers, sons and husbands and joining the band are women too.
Taking a look at these people, they are not like this at home. Most of them turn into other species’ and the rest is history. At this juncture, one might wonder what drives them away from home and why they can’t stay at home. By the time prohibition is implemented, the damage is already done! We all shake our heads and agree that it doesn’t help us here. A deeper look reveals that the social structure is lopsided somewhere and sadly, it starts at home. Unless something is done, more people will march to these places where we cannot imagine our children in their best cloths would even dare to think of sitting down. Remember how cute they looked in that Christmas attire? Alas! Where are all of them at the moment?
A home where there is acceptance, respect and love for one another is one where people would want to come home in times of need where they can cry, call, share. Psychologists agree that the same chemical that is fired in the brain when one is very happy (like after winning a game) is also fired when one is drunk. Why must they go elsewhere to get that fired up? Is it possible for them to stay at home and become winners in one way or the other? The reason I mentioned about the laughter that seemed different is because they laugh differently when they are outside but hardly smile when they come home (HOME!). You will know from the tone they talk to their parents and siblings.
If you are reading this, you probably belong to a house or a home in one way or the other. Each of us have a role to make our homes more attractive than that place otherwise we are fighting a losing battle by enforcing PROHIBITION and driving them away with our preaching that doesn’t seem practical to them. Unless we kill the spider, it is no use cleaning the cobwebs. A man doing a research on families with related problems commented that we give birth to drunkards and most parents are not aware that they also have a hand in it. Peter Cetera sings “Can you call your house a home?”
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
1. To those who are not married (and have the intention to?): plan and pray for the future so that you will indeed be able to start a ‘home’. DON’T ELOPE! You will lose the authority and respect to teach your children.
2. To those who are married: “Can you call your house a home?”
3. To parents: spend more time with your children and that means, time for open sharing and not scolding, nagging, teaching, preaching – know what I mean? For a start, tell us your favorite joke and please with a smile :)
4. To children: parents might have definitely eaten more salt than us but they never had the internet and so much information. So try to understand where they come from and never underestimate their values and advice. Share with them your dreams and you might be surprised. You can choose your friends but not your parents!
5. To those who are in the BAND: help us to understand you better and together we can give it a try. We honestly want to help you. Sometimes we just don’t know HOW... (?)
6. To all readers: KILL THE SPIDER!
A notice in the toilet “Don’t just sit there, do something.”
A notice for us all “DON’T JUST PRAY, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT”
Loliro Sani
loliro2001@yahoo.com
